8 Ways To Improve Your Social Skills

We live in a world that is very centered around social interaction. It is difficult to live an isolated life devoid of any human interaction in this modern era. But, for many people, lack of social interaction is not a choice and the reason for this is poor social skills. When we lack the ability to interact with others socially we may see negative impacts on our life. This can present itself in work, school, or even just leisure. Conversing with others is a major determiner of success and it also plays a significant role in our ability to form relationships with others.

How to improve your social skills

If you feel that your ability to socialize is lackluster then here are 8 tips for improving your social skills.

1. Practice verbal communication

At the forefront of most good social interactions is effective verbal communication. Dedicate time to practice your ability to speak well. Try pulling up a picture and describing what you see in it out loud. Consider learning a new concept and then explaining it even if just to yourself. The key here is to make yourself better at conveying thoughts and ideas by practice so you can apply it in reality.

2. Work on word retrieval

Part of effective verbal communication is also being able to select the most suitable words to convey your message. This makes your communication more understandable for others. Effective word retrieval also means you can choose the wording that makes your phrases most efficient. There are many ways we can say the same thing, but if we choose appropriate and meaningful words we can make our messages shorter and sweeter. Think of “on a count of the fact that” vs. just saying “because.” Both have similar meanings but one is much quicker and accomplishes pretty much the same thing.

There are many ways you can improve your word retrieval skills. Try using the internet to find synonyms for a word and read through those. Some of the words may be new and they end up sticking with you. Incorporate these new words into your daily verbiage. You can also try reading the definitions of words online or from a dictionary because this gives words more meaning. When we learn what words truly entail we may be able to naturally find other ways to express the same message based on understanding. Crossword puzzles and other word retrieval games can also be put to use to get your brain working on retrieval.

3. Read, a lot!

It should be no surprise that verbal communication and word retrieval are important to great social skills. One of the ways both of these can be developed is by reading. Reading can expose us to new words or phrases that might stick with us and grow our vocabulary. Another benefit of reading is it exposes us to other communication styles. This not only means the words used, but also how and when they’re used (in what context).

I know there’s a lot of artificially generated material these days with the growing prevalence of AI. Still, try reading high quality work by a human author. Reading well-written materials can lead to a positive change in communication skills because it allows us to observe someone else’s overall communication techniques. Specifically, how the author of whatever material you may read imparts their point cohesively. Coherent and concise communication is of great importance especially when we have a lot to say and/or when our point is even marginally complex. Learn how to get your message across through proper sentence structure and by linking associated thoughts together. Your message will be more readily absorbed and understood if you do this well.

4. Have something to talk about

A lot of times when we are speaking to others we have to formulate our thoughts in order to know what we’re going to say. It’s true that we need to know how we’re going to convey our message (i.e. what words to use), but we also need to know what the message is. This is where having something to talk about comes in. Learn how to find the thoughts you want to get across –what you want to talk about. Knowing the content of a conversation and what subject areas you’d like to focus on helps keep your conversations active and exciting.

Try learning new things/skills, travelling, or gaining enriching experiences in other ways. These make for great conversation topics. Moreover, keep up with current events by reading the news or following up on new social trends and memes. The news you read need not be related to anything that you are not happy to know. You can read tech news, celebrity news, business news, etc. Topics that are more on the light-hearted side are the best area of focus so you can keep your conversations joyful. Remember, most people want to be around someone who makes them happy and helps them get away from the trials and tribulations of life. For that reason you should make an effort to keep all of your social interactions as positive as you can.

5. Perfect your body language and facial expressions

Social interaction is equal parts verbal and non-verbal communication. What we convey with our words is important but we must balance it with our delivery. Try telling a joke in a monotone voice with a frown on your face and defensive body posture. It probably won’t come across smoothly and may not even be taken as a joke. Similarly you may say something that is emotionally neutral to others but your body language may push it across positively.

Where our hands are, how we’ve positioned our feet, and our posture are all great body language details which people notice. The good news is we often have control over many or all of these. Try keeping your arms to your sides if you’re standing or keeping them on a table if you’re sitting. Showing the palms of your hands has also been shown to increase our trustworthiness around others. Keep your feet shoulder length apart and sit or stand up with a straight back and relaxed shoulders.

Your facial expression is also a major component here. Try to keep a relaxed face overall. Don’t widen your eyes too much but don’t tighten your eyelids too much either. Smile when you can and keep your eyebrows relaxed unless you are trying to express emotion.

6. Socialize more to practice

Practice is great for mastering almost any skill, and socializing is no exception. Lacking social prowess is often the result of a lack of experience with it. Think of playing a sport professionally if you never or rarely ever play that sport. Socializing is similar in that if your life contains little amounts of it then there is a good chance you will struggle with it.

If you have a habit of isolating yourself this is a good trend to get out of. If you indulge mostly in non-social forms of entertainment like binge watching shows alone then you likely miss out on many social opportunities. Fix this by joining a common interest club (book club, chess club, etc.). Try to go to events where it is normal to meet new people and interact with them. Not everyone has to be your new best friend nor do your social interactions have to be hour long conversations. Any social interaction can help you practice. You can even try striking up small talk with a cashier, asking for directions or placing an order at a restaurant.

7. Try your mirror for practice

This one is less ideal but it can also help you when you need more solo practice. You can try training by conversing with yourself in front of a mirror. Watch your body language and facial expression while you do this and try to improve while you can see yourself. This way you can make mental notes of how you’ve positioned yourself so you know how to act if you’re in a real life social interaction.

8. Stay calm and overcome social anxiety

One of the main reasons why social anxiety prevails in many people’s lives is due to nervousness or social anxiety. Nervousness is on the less extreme end while social anxiety is usually more debilitating. Nevertheless, they both have the potential to be obstructive when in social situations. This is why learning calming techniques to keep you relaxed during conversation is handy.

Nervousness can effect word retrieval, body language, even the sound of our voices. For this reason staying calm when socializing with others tends to make us more likeable. You can try combating nervousness or anxiety by trying deep breathing strategies. Changing your focus to some other stimuli can also help. Maybe chew gum or consume something that tastes sweet or sour to take your mind off of your emotions. Even smelling a pleasant but strong smell can be beneficial: try lemon or orange.

Conclusion

Few of us have been graced with natural and unfailing social skills. Putting in effort to improve social skills is not uncommon, and if you feel you need to do the same then you are in good company. You don’t have to be deterred if you struggle or if you have a few bad interactions. Keep applying the tips discussed here and find what works for you to make you more talented and comfortable in social settings. The benefits you see in your social life could very well prove to be amazing.

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