How To Be More Quiet And Socially Relaxed

There is nothing wrong with being talkative and social but some people may want to maintain silence and composure in social settings. There are situations where being talkative and extroverted can be useful. On the other hand, there are also situations when being quiet is most appropriate; like situations where silence demonstrates maturity.

This is why having the ability to enter quiet mode and maintain a relaxed demeanor when necessary can come in handy. Having the ability to quiet yourself down and present a more mature character can be important.

Ways to be more quite

Here are ways to become a more quiet person.

1. Have fun when alone

To prevent being overly hyper or talkative in social settings with others, try releasing some (not too much) of that energy alone. You can do this by having fun by yourself.

The reason you should only be trying to release some energy and not too much is because it’s better to avoid overexertion. If you have a dance party alone before a social gathering you may suddenly crash due to lack of energy.

Instead, what you should be doing is moderately releasing some energy by dancing, walking around the room, journaling, exercising, playing an instrument or any similar activity.

On days when you have nothing else planned and you’re at home anyway, you may want to try some fun solo activities. Talkativeness often comes from high energy levels. Use entertainment to give this energy an avenue by which it can leave the body.

You don’t have to be completely alone. If you are with a family member or a really close friend you can include them in the fun as well. Usually people who want to be more quiet are trying to present this persona in front of strangers or distant friends/family, not people who they know well and trust. If this is you, don’t hesitate to add someone your close to into the fun.

2. Remain calm

One way to control the urge to start a talking spree is to try calming yourself down emotionally. Emotions like excitement and happiness are good in moderation but they can also lead to chattiness.

You don’t need to upset yourself or ruin your mood, just try calming down a little. Something as simple as repeating a phrase in your head like “calm down” or “relax” can be enough to keep emotions tamed.

You can even do this in a social setting. Just repeat the phrase in your head and let it serve as a reminder to take it slow. Try muscle relaxation (especially in the face), shifting your focus to something neutral (like the ground) or counting in your head.

There really is a long list of relaxation strategies but those are some very effective ones that you can do with people around. Try what works for you and use it if ever you’re feeling hyper.

3. Use your willpower

This one is a simple but effective solution. If you want to quiet down in social settings, simply do it. There may not be a need to overthink or try fancy strategies if this works for you.

To remain quiet in a social setting, just try making yourself stay quiet. Easy, right? You may need to combine this with other strategies but with enough effort this technique has great potential.

Urge to talk? Take control over yourself and don’t allow yourself to speak unless it’s necessary. Say to yourself “stay quiet” and keep your mouth closed no matter how badly you may want to start yapping (unless of course there’s an important reason, like an emergency, to talk).

4. Talk in your head

If you have a lot to say but you’d rather avoid saying it out loud, just say it in your head. Substitute talking to others with talking to yourself. This is a great way to get whatever you want to say off your chest without actually having to say it.

The nice thing about this is you can easily do it in public. Just talk in your own head and say whatever might be on your mind to yourself. Remember not to use this as an excuse to never say anything because you just talk in your own mind. The goal is to avoid talking too much not to be completely silent.

5. Listen

It’s kind of hard to talk when attentively listening to someone else speak instead. So try to listen significantly more than you talk.

This is good for three reasons. Reason one being it gives you a chance to learn from someone else. Reason two is it can make you more likable because many people like to talk about themselves and want to feel heard when they do. And reason three is that it can help keep you quiet in a social setting.

Listening is very useful in conversation and is an important skill when it comes to social interaction. Try to make use of attentive listening to your benefit.

6. Focus on something else

Try to take your mind off of talking by focusing on something else – preferably something neutral. This is an effective distraction technique to shift attention away from the desire to talk.

You can try focusing on something internal like how you feel or what you’re thinking. Focus on any topic you can think of in your head to keep you occupied. It can be about anything – maybe something you learned, an idea you have or some news story that makes you feel good.

7. Learn

Using mental energy to learn can help alleviate the longing to talk. Not only that, but having useful information in your mind to think about can be a distraction itself.

For example, say you decided to learn about cooking. You might sit in a social setting and, rather than getting into conversations, think about food. You could think about ingredients that would taste good together as a recipe, for example.

It doesn’t have to be food. It can be any topic you have interest in that you decide to grow your knowledge about. Having knowledge to entertain yourself with can help direct your mind away from talking.

8. Get lost in imagination

Use your imagination to settle yourself down, entertain yourself and shift your attention away from socializing. Imagine yourself in a place you enjoy. Imagine some interior decorating changes you’d like to make to wherever you are (if you’re inside).

Imagination can help use up some energy and keep your focus directed internally rather than externally. Leverage your imagination as a tool to think about something neutral to help you keep quiet.

Keeping your thoughts neutral is important. It’s better to avoid thinking of something that will inadvertently make you feel impassioned or cause you to react on the outside.