What To Do If You Are Insecure

What does it mean to be insecure?

Insecurity is about lacking trust in who you are and viewing yourself with less value. Someone who deals with feelings of insecurity may feel insufficient despite the fact that they are not. Insecurity is a distorted thinking process that usually results from incorrect thought patterns.

What causes feelings of insecurity?

Some reasons people might feel insecure can include poor self-confidence, a history of rejections or failures, holding one’s self up to higher standards, trauma, a tendency to compare achievements to those of others and many other factors.

Feelings of insecurity can sometimes have impacts on daily life and if you struggle with these then you may be at risk for a lower quality of life overall. For this reason, it is important to control and eliminate insecure tendencies.

How to deal with being insecure

Here are some strategies that could help you control or stop feelings of insecurity if you feel this is a problem for you.

1. Focus on what you have going for you

Life is full of positives and if you struggle with feelings of insecurity, there is a good chance you are not focusing on these. When was the last time you considered the things you have going in your favor? Consider making a list of these things because you might find they are numerous when you put them on paper. You probably have great features, or something in your life to be thankful for. Every day you get to live and breathe is a day you should be grateful and full of hope. Feelings of insecurity usually mean you are focusing on the negatives and dismissing the positives.

2. Celebrate wins in life (no matter how small)

Maybe you are focusing on the big things in life and you are not appreciating the small things. This is a common habit among people struggling with insecurity. Try to focus on the small successes and wins because those count, too. Remember, even if you wake up in the morning and you’re able to have breakfast, make your bed, or do whatever small and seemingly insignificant thing, you are accomplishing something. If it is a win (no matter how small), it is a win.

3. Use feelings of insecurity to better yourself

Feelings of insecurity tend to come with a plethora of emotions and thoughts. Rather than letting feelings of insecurity make you feel bad about yourself, use them to raise yourself up. Don’t get into the habit of thinking something along the lines of “I am insecure and I will use it to succeed so I am guaranteed to win.” No. No person is guaranteed to win no matter what they do. You do this so you can use your energy for good but don’t expect yourself to succeed. If you do, great. If not, at least you kept yourself busy and you gave yourself a purpose.

4. Counter insecure thought patterns

Insecurity almost always comes from distorted thought patterns that convince you that you are inadequate even though that is not true. The little voice in your head might be throwing a tantrum but you can get on countering your thoughts and/or that voice in your head. Whenever you feel yourself thinking negatively, stuck in a thought process that worsens your insecurities, challenge it. You can do this by replacing the thoughts with positive ones. “I tanked that presentation,” for example, can turn into “I came up with some seriously good talking points that I can develop into great ideas.”

Also, try to halt the feelings of insecurity in their place. For example, you might be thinking about something that you are not proud of. Stop it immediately by screaming “Stop!” in your head. Envision a stop sign as well and transition to a new thought immediately. Think about something to better yourself and make yourself happy instead so you can replace the thought.

5. Surround yourself with people who care for/about you and lift you up

It should go without saying that anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself or places too much emphasis on your failures should be avoided. At the same time, though, you should be actively keeping yourself around people who better you and make you feel better.

Having resilience is also important. You should not allow people’s words and actions to affect how you feel about yourself in any way. Building that mental strength is a good idea in its own way, but still you should surround yourself with the right people.

6. Consider talking to a professional

Feelings of insecurity can themselves be problematic and worth consulting a professional about. These can also come from other underlying mental health conditions, as well. If your feelings of insecurity are out of control or if you feel your mental health is not where it should be, you might want to consider speaking to a mental health professional who might be able to assist you in getting out of this state. They are likely to help by teaching you strategies for changing your thought patterns and teaching you coping techniques.