How To Stop Being Desperate For Love

Being without a significant other for a long time can be frustrating but it doesn’t have to be. Often, many people who remain single for too long can become desperate for love or a partner. This is a justifiable (not right, but justifiable) reaction.

Desperation is most often a response to a challenging situation. Being in this state can be emotionally troubling internally but it can also reveal itself externally through our actions and vibes. Those who do notice desperation may become more inclined to distance themselves from you.

Ways to stop being desperate for love

If you struggle with desperation, do not allow it to have control over you. There are ways to decrease desperation. Here are some strategies so you can do that.

1. Find happiness alone (there are benefits to being single)

Being single is only bad if you view it so. Really, it is actually neutral. Yes, it’s fun to have a partner so go ahead and look for one. But don’t underestimate the quality of alone time. Don’t just be okay with it, be happy with it.

There are many ways people to find enjoyment being alone. You can enjoy the peace that comes with being by yourself. The ability to have freedom and be able to dedicate time to things you care about is a potential plus. Take yourself on a date or go out with a friend. The movies, a dinner, a trip to the arcade – you don’t need to go with a love interest to these places. You can find joy there by yourself or with non-romantic friends. Even a night alone watching a show you like or a few videos can be a blast. Happiness doesn’t need a partner to exist, a partner should compliment it.

2. Focus on yourself

When you have mental energy to spare, why not use it on yourself? The single life presents opportunities to focus on you and what matters in your life. You can focus on your family and friends, being the best you that you can be for them.

Focus on your own success. Focus on your career, education and/or starting/growing a business. Become the best version of you when you’re single and you might find that more enjoyable than being in a relationship. Redirect the energy of desperation into achieving great things.

3. Make friends

They don’t have to become love interests, but friends in general allow you to build a supportive social network. This can help to decrease desperation. There’s also opportunity to learn from new people and grow as a person. Is it possible you may one day find love with a new friend? Yes, but this should not be your goal. If it is, that defeats the whole purpose of making friends to decrease desperation. The goal should be growing your social life beyond romantic relationships.

4. Be patient

It is easy to become inpatient when desperation is constantly pestering you. It might be tempting to reveal your desperation to someone (which you should never do because this can do more harm than good). You could also feel compelled to enter a relationship with someone who is not right for you or who doesn’t meet your standards. Don’t compromise your ideals. Learn instead to be patient, accepting your circumstances and focusing on yourself. Love can happen when you least expect it.

5. Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others will likely just worsen desperation. It is possible and even likely that you will see many others in relationships. This shouldn’t bother you, though, because you are your own person. The right person for you might just need some time.

Avoid looking to others’ life timelines for comparison. If others your age are in relationships or married this does not mean you have to be. Some people stay single into their late 30s, others don’t find love until their 40s and so on. Your life is on its own timeline and that’s okay.

6. Don’t blame yourself

Being single does not equal not being worthy of love. It simply means this is the way life has played out. Almost no one in the world is everybody’s “type” so being single is fine. It is a matter of finding the right person who is compatible with you. If you find yourself engaging in self-blame or (worse yet) self-loathing, stop yourself and focus on self-betterment and self-improvement instead (a better use of your energy).