What To Do If You Are Lonely: 7 Tips For Loneliness

Loneliness can sometimes be a good thing –there are times when people prefer to be alone. However, there are days when people crave social interaction. When that pops up, the feeling of loneliness may become a little more noticeable and disappointing.

While there is nothing wrong with being alone once in a while, there are things that can be done to deal with loneliness and make the feelings that might accompany it more manageable.

Reasons why you might feel lonely

If you struggle with loneliness, the reason is likely because you have little or no social contact in your life. This is not always the case though because people with many friends can still feel lonely.

Loneliness is an emotion based on perception. It doesn’t always mean you’re truly alone, just that you feel alone. Maybe you have a lot of friends but don’t feel close to them or maybe you are close to them but still struggle with loneliness.

Mental illness could cause these feelings, as well. Social anxiety might make you avoid social contact and thereby feel more lonely. Depression can make even people who appear like social butterflies feel lonely.

Really, it is hard to pinpoint an exact cause because yours may be unique to you. No matter what it is, identifying it is a good first step because this is better for tailoring your approach to your situation.

It is important to remember that if you are lonely because you struggle to make friends this does not mean you should point the blame on yourself. Many likeable and completely normal people are lonely. If you feel your personality could use some work then go ahead and do that, but don’t feel that loneliness is a problem on you.

How to stop feeling lonely

If you feel lonely, read on for ways which can help you to stop feeling lonely.

1. Determine if you truly are socially distant

Actually being alone does not need to be the reason for feeling lonely. You may be feeling lonely because you simply just feel it, even though you do have plenty of social connections.

First, take a look at your situation to determine if loneliness is an actual external problem for you. If not, maybe you should consider reminding yourself of the people around you. Consider spending more time with them and form lasting memories which could help you deal with loneliness. If you feel lonely for seemingly no reason, you can also consider getting help from a mental health professional. Remember to always remind yourself of your family, friends or anyone around you if you ever feel the loneliness creeping up.

2. Reconnect with old friends you may have

Time tends to change people and move them apart. This is normal. However, if you have old friends you can still get in touch with (who you last disconnected with on good terms) then re-establish connections. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll get along but you may rekindle a great old friendship. You might also notice that the time apart has actually changed both of you in a good way and made the friendship stronger the second time around.

3. Make use of digital communication

This can be especially useful if distance from people you were/are close to is the biggest reason for feeling lonely. Try using modes of communication other than in-person meetings. Of course meeting someone physically is better, but if stuck between feeling lonely and building connections digitally then maybe the digital option is the better one. Technology has linked the world in great ways, so make use of it for your own social life. Try a virtual meeting and make it an audio-video experience (i.e. not just a phone call). If you’d rather not or you can’t do this, opt for a phone convo or maybe even messaging.

4. Find ways to make new friends (possibly by donating time to a good cause)

It shouldn’t be too hard to find ways to make friends in your area. Try attending social gatherings (they don’t have to be parties but anything where people gather and it’s normal for them to meet and talk). One of the best ways to do this is to meet people while volunteering for a worthy cause.

You could also do this online. Try finding online communities where you can meet people and conversate with them. This could be forums, online gaming, social media or whatever else. Whether you opt for in-person or online, it is important to be sure that the person is trustworthy. Don’t meet-up with anyone you met online unless you’re in public and you’ve properly vetted them first.

5. Go somewhere busy

Go to a mall, a busy store, a park with a fair amount of people. Go places where there is a consistent flow of people who you can just be around. You don’t have to go to these places and engage in conversation with anyone, simply be there. Just being around people can be surprisingly effective at countering feelings of loneliness.

6. Be happy being alone

Being alone is not intrinsically a bad thing all the time. Ever heard of “alone time?” Loneliness can be a source of peace at times, especially for more introverted people. Being by yourself with your thoughts and thinking clearly without any commotion can be a peaceful way to reflect. The point is you need not be too antsy about loneliness because it has its fair share of pros. Find happiness by reminding yourself of this.

Also make efforts to do things by yourself that you would’ve done with others. Go to the movies alone. Take yourself out to dinner alone. Play some music at home and dance when by yourself. Become your own best friend and enjoy your own time. You may find it more enjoyable than being with others.

7. Elevate yourself/lift yourself up

Maintaining social interactions and friendships can be very energy consuming and if you’re lonely you may have that energy left over. What better way to use that energy than by focusing on bettering yourself? Learn a new skill, try to do some job hunting, start a business, exercise, do self-care, focus on your mental health, the list goes on. Use your alone time to reach the best version of you that you can bring yourself to. View loneliness as an opportunity rather than a challenge. Yet another way loneliness has its benefits.