How To Handle Receiving Criticism And Be Less Defensive

Criticism and negative feedback are a part of life. They may be disappointing or frustrating but they are still normal nonetheless. Some people, however, may struggle with getting criticized and become defensive in these types of situations. If this describes you, here are some ways to be more accepting in the face of criticism:

1. Understand that the intentions might be good

This is not always true for everyone but it can still apply. There are people who might criticize you because they care about you or love you. While it may be hard for some to accept this, it is a reality. It’s important not to automatically assume people are criticizing just to be disrespectful. Sure, this is not always the case and it’s hard to know everybody’s intentions, but this is an important consideration when it comes to receiving feedback. It can make it much more acceptable if someone is coming from a place of love rather than hate.

2. Realize not all criticism is legitimate

Not every form of criticism is grounded on a legitimate and justifiable point. Some people may be criticizing just to be bullies or for their own unjust reasons. Perhaps they even genuinely believe what they’ve said, even though they’re incorrect. Other still may criticize something that is not truly a big deal but they make it so.

The fact of the matter is not every form of criticism ought to be taken seriously. You do not need to take every bit of feedback to heart and let it bother you. Instead, if you receive criticism, internally reflect on it by yourself. Allow your own mind to determine if it is true, if it is a big enough deal to warrant a change and how you can bring that change about. Remember to be genuine with yourself during reflection and don’t take any critique as valid unless you truly believe it is.

3. Don’t be a perfectionist

Perfectionism could be a trait that sets you up for difficulties in the event you receive criticism. This is most often because perfectionists have a very particular view of how they want their life to be (perfection in their view). Negative feedback might make perfectionists feel that this ideal is being challenged and this then causes emotional push-back.

It is important to identify and deal with perfectionist or all-or-nothing thinking. Find ways to accept imperfection as a part of life that does not negatively define you. Read this post if you’d like some advice for perfectionists.

4. Use legitimate criticism as motivation to grow

Suppose you receive commentary that you genuinely feel is well-founded and deserving of acknowledgement. In this situation, you can use that as motivation to grow and improve as a person. Use criticism as a driver which encourages you to fix things in your life. Remember, though, having motivation to change and acting on it does not guarantee success. The reality is failure is still possible but the journey of growth is itself a reward for your efforts sometimes. Personal growth is great, too.

5. Find peace within

And the possibility of failure brings us to this: find happiness within. No matter what negative feedback you may get and whether or not you succeed, it is important to be able to have happiness and inner peace that comes from you, not from the outside world. Regardless of the opinions of others and the outcomes in your life, reassurance in yourself should stem outward from within.