How To Get Over Heartbreak

Love is really just a feeling but it’s a strong one. If you have romantic attraction to someone then you may feel a unique connection to them. If this connection breaks it can cause serious emotional pain. This is called heartbreak.

If someone who you cared about and loved is no longer connected to you romantically then you could be finding yourself struggling to cope. If you have heartbreak it may feel overpowering but just know it doesn’t have to be.

It should come as no surprise that people have the ability to soften and eliminate the emotional pain of heartbreak. It feels impossible but it really isn’t and the biggest evidence is this; a lot of people have dealt with heartbreak and still bounce back very strongly.

Ways to heal a broken heart

1. Feel the pain (cry)

This first one is important because resisted emotions often just end up becoming stronger. We should not be pushing back against the things we feel but instead embracing them in order to come to terms with them. Allow your mind to go through the emotional waves that come with heartbreak. Feel your emotions fully and deeply and allow yourself to mourn what you’ve lost. If you feel you need to, cry. Crying is also a great way to release sadness from your mind.

2. Let go

Letting go is pretty self-explanatory. You should be letting the memories and your attachment to the person go. If you were wronged, learn to forgive or at least learn to not let it bother you by letting any resentment or sadness go. Feel the person’s significance leave your mind.

One thing about letting go though is that many people have a habit of superficially releasing their attachment to another person. Here, letting go means really letting go. Truly get over the other person and let go of everything you had with them. You should use your will-power and genuinely obligate yourself to get over your situation. Just note: don’t try to fight your emotions or memories, instead you are genuinely removing your love for them.

3. Laugh

Resisting an emotion is most often a bad idea but counteracting it with an opposing favorable emotion can do great things. Laughter is one of the best ways to get over heartbreak. It makes people feel good and gets their minds off of the other person. I’ve spoken to many people who told me the key to them getting over their heartbreak was laughter whenever possible. Put on a funny video on YouTube, watch a funny movie, take some time to go through memes, or whatever else.

4. Stay away from them or anything that reminds you of them

Now in order to get over someone you should be making an attempt to keep them out of sight so they ideally stay out of mind. This may not be a foolproof strategy when it comes to heartbreak because just because you don’t see the person for a day doesn’t mean you will get over them. Also, it may be further complicated if you have kids, work, go to school, or have anything that connects you and the other person. Really it’s about trying your best by avoiding contact and exposure to them whenever possible. Maybe take a different path if you’re in the same building or get rid of any pictures you have of or with them. Do not go on their social media and block, mute or remove them if you have to.

The other thing to consider is also things that remind you of them that are not them. Does that make sense? Basically, try staying away from anything that brings them to your mind. Avoid their friends and family if you can. Avoid keeping any memory of them in your sight. Do whatever you can so your life resembles the way it was before them.

5. Don’t focus on positives

Good memories you might have with or about them may intrude into your mind. You might find yourself stuck thinking about them and reminiscing about old times. This can push you to further miss the person which exasperates sadness. You need to challenge the good times by decreasing their importance.

Example: “I had a really good time when we went to…” “But in retrospect I’ve also had more fun going… by myself.” “I can go there again and have more fun if I wanted to alone.” “Maybe I can take a friend with me there instead.” Sometimes we don’t really love a person but we love that time in our lives that they happened to be a part of. So look to a more favorable future by yourself or with someone new.

6. Let time heal

Many strategies are available for getting over heartbreak but little of them have as high a success rate as the passage of time. Other steps you may take will likely help but you should also be giving yourself time as this is most successful at healing heartbroken people. Be patient and allow the passage of time to include what it needs to –whether that’s crying, laughing, letting go, talking it out with someone, etc. The reality is, you’ll most likely be over it in a few weeks or months as this is the normal healing time. For some people it takes years, but that’s okay, too.

7. Learn to focus more on yourself

Remaining hung up on a person is usually because you are focusing on them or what their presence offered you. Instead, your focus during times of healing from heartbreak should be on you and the other people in your life you care about. Appreciate yourself and learn to do something that makes you feel good about you. Maybe get into going for walks, doing self-care practices or even playing video games. Fall in love with yourself so you take attention away from your emotions towards the other person. This also applies for dedicating your attention and emotions to the people who you might care for (family and friends). Remember to make them a priority, as well.

8. Talk it out with someone

Find someone you trust to discuss what you are feeling or what happened to you to put you in this position. Often, just talking about it may help you overcome and move on. You could also benefit if you end up getting advice and insight from someone else who knows you. Make sure this person is trusted, though.

Conclusion

Many people will go through and deal with romantic heartbreak at some point in their lives. Most often, this is resolved eventually and the heartbreak no longer takes any emotional toll. Being heartbroken can feel powerless and can make it seem like you are not fully yourself. It’ll probably take time to go back to the old you but keep the hope alive and employ strategies to help yourself get back to normal.