Ways To Deal With Frustration

Frustration is a negative emotion that’s usually less extreme than anger but still, well, frustrating. It isn’t necessarily a good sign if you are always frustrated or getting stuck in a cycle of frustration.

Uncontrolled frustration can eventually become worse by turning into anger and rage. These are more extreme and more negative emotions on the same spectrum of frustration.

Do you struggle with frustration? If the answer is yes then realize you are not alone. Frustration can have many causes (internal or external). It is usually the result of something that happened, is happening, or can happen. However it can seem to come out of nowhere.

How to stop being frustrated

If you deal with constant frustration then here are some ways to stop being frustrated and control frustration.

1. Release frustration calmly on your own

Frustration is an emotion that starts in the mind even if the actual cause is outside of the mind. Bottling it up or keeping it within defeats the purpose of an emotion that is most suited to resolve something. Now, this is not a free pass to behave however you want because there are limits on the way we can behave due to social norms. You can, however, release frustration calmly on your own, in a manner that harms no one and allows you to ease tension.

Go somewhere alone (maybe a bedroom or a bathroom) and allow yourself to feel and release the frustration. Consider ripping up a piece of paper, punching a pillow or simply sitting down and feeling it. This way your frustration has a safe avenue to leave your body and express itself. Make sure not to go to overboard with how angry you get. It’s important to release it calmly so as to not overstress yourself.

2. Learn relaxation techniques

Once you’ve released your frustration (or in the event you simply need to calm down rather than expelling it) you can start relaxing. Employ relaxation techniques to stabilize yourself if you feel your emotions getting out of control. Consider focusing on your breathing or progressively relaxing your muscles. Try to repeat a calming phrase to yourself or envision yourself taking control of your mind and bringing it to a state of calmness.

3. Express yourself calmly

Take this with two meanings. Firstly, if someone wronged you and a person is the source of your frustration, consider calmly talking to them and expressing how you feel. They may apologize or explain themselves, or they may simply be dismissive. But at least you would’ve put it out there. Keep in mind, though, that this is not always possible because you may not be able to get in touch with the person or you don’t feel it’s appropriate to discuss with them for whatever reason. In this case consider the second way to express yourself – which brings us to our second meaning.

The other available path of expression here is simply talking to someone you trust (even if they are not the source of your frustration) to get it off your chest. Not necessarily taking it out on them nor acting like it’s their fault, but telling them how you feel. Expression alone can be relieving but they may also have some advice for you that is specific to your situation. Remember to do this only if you feel comfortable.

4. Practice acceptance

Not everything is in our power. Sometimes the best way to get over an emotion towards something is to simply accept it and accept the feeling that comes with it. Acceptance is often just a matter of attitude; you may struggle to accept things simply because your beliefs lead you elsewhere.

Maybe you’re a control freak or think things should always go how you want, for example. Not being able to dictate every outcome is okay. Sometimes it’s better to just learn how to live with something.

5. Don’t be entitled

A major cause of frustration is things not going a certain way while feeling entitled to a favorable outcome. Maybe you feel entitled to respect from others, a certain level of treatment, certain things in the world (like wealth), etc. The reality is no matter how entitled someone feels to something and how right they are to feel entitled to it that does not mean their feelings are justified.

It’s logical to feel entitled to respect, for example. But other people feel entitled to this yet they still deal with instances of disrespect. This is just the way life is and it really goes back to acceptance. If you find feelings of entitlement are a major driver of frustration for you, learn to combat these by reminding yourself you are not guaranteed them.

6. Journal

Preferably with a pen and paper! Write down why you are frustrated, how/where you feel frustration, what biases you may have that cause you to feel frustrated, etc. Write as much as you can about what you feel. This is a great form of expression which can get emotions out and release them onto the paper. Moreover, seeing your thoughts in front of you and being able to organize them can help you find a tailored strategy towards recovery that works for your situation.

7. Do something you love

A great way to put emotional energy from frustration to use is by doing something you’re passionate about. Not only can the very act of focusing on something you like be distracting, it can also be a great way to accomplish something for yourself. What better a success story than saying the reason you started working on something was frustration?

You can do anything you like here. Do something creative to get your mind working. Take on a new hobby or consider building up your knowledge and experience in a new skill area. Get your mind on something you want it to dedicate time to. If the frustration pops up, just ignore it. Let it flow and continue working on you.