How To Stop Being Judgmental Towards Others

Judging others has sadly become far too normalized in the world today. It’s not hard to find instances of harsh judgements not only being arrived at but also being inappropriately and rudely shared. This is not fair to the person judged because they may feel hurt by judgement if they find out. It is also unnecessary for a person to judge another negatively based on little evidence and then proceed to share this.

There are situations in which disagreeing with someone’s behavior is okay. It’s even a good idea to politely set others on the right path in the event you feel it is necessary and appropriate given a situation. Even then, though, we should be thinking twice about the possible repercussions and if it is something important enough to share (i.e. for someone’s safety/wellbeing) or if it’s better to just ignore.

Formulating thoughts and opinions about others with limited information is a different story. Treating that person based solely on our judgement of them is unfair. Judging others or even ourselves harshly is a waste of energy, which we can instead dedicate to better things.

Do you feel you are too judgemental? If yes, here are some ways to be less judgemental.

1. Don’t pay attention to what others do (focus on yourself)

The behaviors, appearance and words of others should not matter to you unless they’re hurting someone. Judging people starts when we pay attention to these even though we shouldn’t. For your safety, pay attention to your surroundings but do not pay attention to what others who are minding their own business do. In fact, go so far as to focus on bettering yourself instead. Dedicate energy you would’ve used towards others for your own development.

2. Move on after judging people

Not all judgement is negative, however many times it is. Negatively judging people is where the problem lies. There’s nothing wrong with having instincts (i.e. you may get a bad feeling about someone and avoid them). But deciding someone is a criminal based on the way they look and then constantly ruminating about that is far beyond what’s necessary. Again, nothing wrong with distrusting the person because of a feeling, but sitting there dwelling on it long after you’re done interacting with them does little for you.

In the event you do judge someone, move on after judging them. “I think this person is…” Okay, leave it at that. Don’t blurt it out loud or think about it more. It is understandable (not necessarily justified but understandable) that you may judge people once in a while. It doesn’t always have to be purposeful or come from cruel intentions, but it can happen.

This strategy also applies to you if you have issues judging yourself. The judgement came to mind? Yes? It’s done now. Let your mind transition to something else.

3. Imagine how it’d feel if you were judged

If you mostly judge others, a way you can learn the impact of what you’re doing is to envision yourself being judged. Realistically this probably doesn’t happen much to you because most people don’t focus on judging others; but let’s pretend here. Does getting judged feel good? Probably not. So consider that other people might feel this way as well.

There’s no need to turn this into a source of sorrow. You are probably not being judged nor should you sit there being overly saddened by the fact that you may have judged people in the past. Forgive yourself for it but learn your lesson. Try to have empathy for the people you judge.

4. Realize that others have their own backgrounds

People live all sorts of lives. We don’t know every detail of everyone’s minds. If you judge someone you are likely doing it with little understanding about them. It is important to consider the fact that people can have reasons for what they do, how they act and how they appear. Those of us who do not fully realize this may be susceptible to judging people.

It is important to be aware that others have their own lives and we ought to just leave them be. It’s equally important to be compassionate to these people because sometimes their reasoning may warrant sympathy, not negative judgement. Sure, not everyone is going through a hard time; that’s not really going to be the case for everyone. But by considering this as a possibility you can help yourself control judgemental tendencies.

5. Be accepting to flaws

Perfection is nice but it’s a rarity. Having imperfections is simply part of the majority of peoples’ lives. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with having a flaw. Being judgmental may mean you simply have a low tolerance for flaws and/or you tend to make them bigger deals than they actually are. A flaw is just that, a flaw. Even if someone is a little goofy in their behavior or the way they dress, they don’t have to have a reason. They have what to you might seem like a flaw but is actually what makes them unique. Learn to accept what you see as flaws and ignore these.