How To Stop Loving Someone: Ways To Fall Out Of Love

Love can be a beautiful emotion but sometimes it is also a burdensome one. If it becomes the latter then taking action to fall out of love (or infatuation) is a smart choice for your peace of mind.

Is it possible to fall out of love?

The answer to this is a yes. Many people have done it before – it is not an unachievable feat. It may require a little work, however. You can win against feelings of love but you just need the right tools to do so. If it’s not possible for you, it is a good idea to at least be able to cope with your feelings so you can tolerate them and enjoy life despite them.

How to stop loving someone

If you are struggling with your romantic affection towards someone and you want ways to stop loving them, then try these helpful tips. These can help get you out of this situation.

1. Stop thinking about them

This one should be a given but it is surprisingly not. Don’t expect a great success rate if you find yourself constantly thinking about the other person. You could even be reinforcing your love when you obsessively think about them. Thoughts can pop up in the minds, that’s fair. The point of not thinking about someone is not to eliminate them from memory. The objective is also not to force yourself to stop thinking about them, as this can actually make the feelings for them stronger. Instead, the goal here should be distraction (which is touched on later) or not willfully thinking about what’s-their-name. Don’t try to erase thoughts or fight them, but at the very least help yourself by not purposefully evoking or acknowledging them.

2. Keep your distance from them

If you can never see them in person again, you should do that. However, if you must interact with them due to your personal circumstances then avoid them as much as possible. If you see your love interest in the hallway at 2PM, then wait until 2:05 before walking through there. If you have a lecture together, sit far away. Do what needs to be done to keep your distance as best you can. Use your will power to avoid seeing them whenever possible.

3. Don’t stay friends (not even on social media)

Why even bother with this? If you view someone romantically then there is no good reason for you to need to obligate yourself to just be their friend. If you cannot view someone as a friend then just cut ties off with them. By interacting with someone you love who you no longer want to feel that way for you are increasing the chance of strengthening the love for them.

This also applies to social media (if they have it, which almost everyone does). Do not remain friends or followers on any social media platform. Block the person if you have to. Social media is especially dangerous when trying to stop loving someone because it gives you a constant glimpse into their life. This is presenting a constant risk that you will trigger emotions of affection. Do not even go on their profile(s) or check up on them.

4. Accept

Did the other person break your heart? Did they leave you? Did they cheat? Did it simply not work out for personal reasons on your end or theirs? Whatever the cause for you needing to stop loving them; accept it. You most likely have a good reason to want the emotional attachment to stop. If you have no good reason and they are right for you then consider reading another one of Wire To Better’s great posts because you shouldn’t be on this one.

Whatever may have transpired is over now. Accept your reasoning. Accept that the other person is not right for you. Let yourself genuinely come to terms with what has passed, then gradually and authentically move on.

5. Go through the grieving process

Just like resisting thoughts can make them stronger so to can resisting emotions. If you are dealing with heartbreak (which most people who want to unlove someone are) then this is a very negative emotional experience. To get bored of how you feel about someone one of the best ways to do so is to fully feel the emotions associated with them. Let yourself go through the full process of grieving and heartbreak. Allow yourself to feel and come to terms with the failed love.

The grieving process may be long. Accordingly, you may need a lot of patience to go through it. However, feeling it allows it to more easily begin to fade. Eventually, you may notice that you no longer feel anything or feel very little. If this happens you know you are going down the path of improvement.

6. Distract yourself in healthy ways

Don’t distract yourself with short-term and easily achieved gratification. Examples of this are using your phone excessively, consuming alcohol or whatever else. These habits often prove unhelpful and even harmful. Instead, pursue distractions which help you feel good and genuinely heal. Think of distracting yourself with nature, by spending time with people you love or by exercising. Do something that makes it hard for you to think about that once special someone.

7. Fall in love with yourself

Why not replace your love for someone wrong for you with someone right for you? Who better to fit this category then you? Try engaging in self-care habits. Go out and meet people or go out and just have fun by yourself. Work on healing if you have any emotional baggage related to your love interest or anything else. Start the process of loving yourself not to the point of being self-absorbed but at least to the point where you are so concerned with what’s best for you that you no longer give thought to your love interest.