How To Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy: 9 Ways

Seeing as you spend all your time with yourself it is important that you are easy to put up with. Being your own best friend is a goal but at the very least you should not be your own worst enemy. If you feel that nobody does a better job at holding you back and destroying your mental health than yourself it is time to take action.

If you’re the biggest reason why you’re not accomplishing your goals, you are your own worst enemy. Knowing that you are engaging in self-destructive behaviors is an excellent but small first step. The next goal should be to resolve these issues so as to prevent them from continuing their destructive effects.

Ways to stop being your own worst enemy

If you feel you are your own worst enemy then let’s start off with some hope: this can be dealt with. Here are some tips if you feel that you are the worst enemy you have.

1. Take care of your mental health

A possible culprit responsible for your self-destructive tendencies could be your mental health. If you struggle with a mental health disorder then there is a good chance harsh self-talk, feelings of insufficiency and all around negativity could be making you your own nemesis. This could be due to anxiety, PTSD, depression or other conditions.

It is important to identify the problem and work towards solving it. This can consist of seeking professional help and even doing your own research to see how you can best help yourself. Counseling may be necessary. It is important, though, to consider a mental health ailment as a cause here so you can work towards resolving it if needed.

2. Change your thought patterns

In a way this can help with mental illnesses or it can just help in general. Your thoughts (particularly when they are toxic) can be surprisingly effective at holding you back in life. If you are constantly thinking negatively of yourself and your abilities then you aren’t likely to get very far.

Maybe you filter out the positive things in life and focus on the negatives. Maybe you find yourself always thinking of worst case scenarios despite the very high possibility that a favorable scenario will play out. Change how you think about the past, present and future in order to lift your spirits. What you shouldn’t do is engage in toxic positivity, but you should have a positive and encouraging voice in your head that helps you feel better even when things don’t seem to be all that favorable.

3. Leave pride out of your life

Pride is pretty close to (if not completely) useless. Have you ever truly gained anything substantial from your pride? It is a human-made concept that many the world over seem to take unnecessarily seriously. Constantly worrying about your pride can take a self-detrimental turn if it gets out of hand. Preoccupation with pride takes time and energy away from the important things that should matter more. Get over yourself and move forward in life. Ignore ego and replace it with truly honorable characteristics like selflessness, kindness and positivity.

4. Be easy on yourself

Do you obsess over failure and view yourself more negatively when you experience it? Do you set unreasonable expectations that are difficult to achieve and highly likely to fail? Maybe you hold yourself to a certain standard that you don’t even hold others to. To not be your own worst enemy, it is of tremendous importance that you take it easy on yourself and you are kind and loving towards you. Failure is normal (even for successful people). Expectations can give you something to work towards and motivate you but don’t let yours go overboard and become near unachievable. Rather than being a self-destructive force in your own life, demonstrate kindness and empathy towards yourself. Don’t expect the world to take it easy on you, you take it easy on you.

5. Learn from mistakes

This is true a lot of times and particularly when someone has a troubled past –the past can be a highly effective tool you inadvertently use to be your worst enemy. It might creep up on you and cause you a lot of distress whether this be due to trauma, regret or anything in between. The reality is, though, the past is just what happened and it is behind us.

The best thing you can do with it (especially better than letting it destroy you) is to harness it for growth. Learn from your past. If you made mistakes, analyze what you did wrong to minimize or eliminate the chances of you doing it again. If you were wronged, forgive and forget so you can move forward and focus on the present. Don’t blame others or yourself for the past. Leave it be and let it be a motivator for your present and future.

6. Work towards goals

Give yourself a purpose or something to work and focus on. If you willfully neglect your own goals then you are truly being your own worst enemy. Not only are you no longer your own adversary, but you can actively become your own friend if you use your time and effort wisely towards something you are passionate about. Set realistic and achievable goals then proceed to work towards them. Always remember that failure is a possibility but so is success. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best and give your greatest effort to progress.

7. Enjoy your own company

Take yourself to a dinner out. Go to a movie theatre by yourself. Go somewhere fun alone and enjoy yourself. If you see how fun you are then you will enjoy being you and realize you’re not so bad. Maybe your enemy isn’t really your enemy, they’re just misunderstood.

8. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you

Even if you feel there is a lot of negativity going on within you can still offset this by keeping yourself around others who make you feel good about yourself. It is important not to let the negativity of the external world bring you down, but if you do find people who lift you up then spend time with these people so as to benefit from their kindness.

9. Build confidence and don’t underestimate yourself

You might be your own worst enemy because you lack the self-esteem or self-confidence to think otherwise. This lack of confidence is often the result of underestimating who you are. Remember that you are capable. You are a complex individual with many qualities and capabilities. Understand that you are valuable. Understand that you can have and achieve aspirations. Once this is done, you have the basis on which to finally stop being your own worst enemy.