How To Deal With A Difficult Boss

A difficult boss can have far-reaching effects on your work life and even your personal life. It can make you dislike your work, view your company poorly and push you to consider leaving. Most often, it’s not your fault that a boss is being difficult but you may still have to deal with him/her. It’s in the nature of many jobs; dealing with people who may not be compatible or get along with us.

In life (and especially in career settings) we may encounter all sorts of people we don’t agree with and just plain don’t like. But in order to be a successful member of society you should learn to work with these people as best you can.

Ways to deal with a difficult boss

Here are a few ways to deal with a difficult boss, manager, or supervisor.

1. Be firm yet polite

When your boss starts to become very difficult or if they border rudeness then you should find a way to stand up for yourself respectfully. You need to find a perfect balance here because you shouldn’t appear as though you are easy to take advantage of but you should also be professional and reserved in your defensive strategies. Remember work is a professional setting and should be treated as such. There should absolutely be no vulgar language and you shouldn’t expect special treatment. Don’t start refusing to do work or neglecting your duties because this can risk getting you fired. Be calm, use polite words, but make sure they get the message across effectively. For example, don’t say, “I should not be doing this,” say something more like, “I would rather avoid this. Do you think that would be possible?”

2. Find common ground

Your boss doesn’t have to be your best friend but you can try to find some things to build a trusting relationship on. This could be work-related or otherwise. Just something that can help bridge the divide and make you both seem like friends rather than co-workers. Maybe try seeing if you have a common interest you can discuss. If not, talk about something non-controversial but work-related. By finding common ground you might establish a more relaxed relationship.

3. Make small talk

In line with finding common ground is making small talk. Small talk is asking how he/she is, if they did anything fun over the weekend, how their family is, etc. Sometimes we may forget that the people we work with are people too. Usually by being friendly and actively listening to their personal stories we build rapport. This could compel your boss take a friendlier approach.

4. Be receptive to leadership

Your boss has a position of authority and by working at that company you should respect that authority. This doesn’t necessarily mean they know more about the job than you do, but they are where they are. Be open to taking pointers and feedback. Implement any changes your boss may request or suggest. Tell your boss about how you’ve implemented something based on their advice to show him or her that you are a cooperative member of the team. Accept any feedback your boss may give, as well. If you’re told you are not performing well, ask for suggestions on how to improve.

5. Do good work

Regardless of the feedback provided to you (or lack thereof), you should still be making an effort to do good work on the job. Try to be efficient and if you have any metrics you need to be meeting then make efforts to do so. This can do two things. First, it could show your boss that you are a valued employee who contributes to the company. Second, it leaves your boss with little to criticize if you minimize or eliminate opportunities for your boss to seize.

6. Express how you feel (in the right circumstances)

Try telling a friend or family member how you feel to vent. They may also have additional advice. Generally, it is a better idea to avoid consulting co-workers about a boss so try to refrain from discussing this with them. If you can do so professionally and politely, maybe tell your boss that the expectations placed on you are making you feel a little overwhelmed. Avoid doing this if you don’t feel comfortable enough or if you think it might create tension.

Your boss might have a boss, as well. I understand this isn’t always the case, depending on the organization and how it is structured. But a lot of times it works out like this. As a last resort, you can discuss this with your manger’s manager (if applicable) or HR. This option should be acted on only if other attempts to calm things down have failed and (key word and) your boss is acting out of line. Minor disagreements should not compel you to go to a higher-up or HR because this could possibly make things worse.

7. Remember, it’s just work

It’s true that many people will end up spending a fair portion of their time working. However, this does not mean that work defines our leisure time. When you are not working you should not be thinking nor worrying about work. Your job is only a portion of your day just like anything else. When you are at work you should work with your boss but when you are off the clock then what he or she does is none of your business or concern. Keep work and life separate to achieve a better work-life balance.