How To Cope With Failure

Failure can feel emotionally devastating. This is especially true in situations where a lot of work went in to achieving a good result, but the end result was actually failure.

Success may be ideal but the reality is failure is just a part of life. No matter how successful a person is, the risk of failure still exists. Not only must this risk be accepted, but it should be embraced.

The risk of failure provides opportunities for growth. Not only that, but the risk of failure is one that cannot be fully eliminated in every single situation. For these reasons, being able to accept failure is necessary for building resilience in the face of it.

This resilience to failure can make the difference between emotional strength and devastation in the face of it.

Ways to cope with failure

Here are ways to deal with failure.

1. Be stronger than feelings of failure

View yourself as being in a battle against the feelings that come with failing. They may try to bring you down, but you have to keep yourself up. You must fight to not allow yourself to be a victim of failure. Instead, you are a survivor of it.

People with high self-esteem don’t have immunity to failure, but they tend to have the ability to bounce back from it. People with high self-esteem are less bothered by failure.

You can acknowledge shortcomings, reflect on them and still not let them define or deter you. In fact, you should reflect on failures so that you can process them, learn from them and prevent repeats. Just remember that learning from them also doesn’t make you immune to them.

2. Reframe failure

Failure presents a choice. You can either take it as a loss or as a lesson. You can be hurt or educated by it.

Taking it as a lesson allows you to minimize the risk that the failure will repeat itself. It’s growth. Not letting it bother you maintains your emotional wellbeing so that you can keep going.

Don’t view failure in negative terms. Instead, look at the benefits of having failed. No matter how hard and devastating a failure may have been, it still presents an opportunity for growth.

3. Don’t be ashamed

One of the biggest problems with failure is the fact that the person who failed tends to stigmatize themselves because of it. People generally have a bad habit of attaching their worth to miniscule events or events outside of their control.

The reality is failure is nothing to be ashamed of. If you fail, this has nothing to do with your worth. But it will lower your worth if you allow it to.

Flaws and failure are normal. Most people deal with them. Failing is a risk that is interwoven with the human experience; any person can fail. Never convince yourself that failure defines you.

4. Find a healthy distraction

Healthy distraction can help cope with the feelings that come with experiencing failure. Don’t get distracted to the point where you are disconnected from reality, though. Similarly, don’t use unhealthy habits as a means to distract yourself (this would, ironically, be another failure).

Your distraction should allow you to find genuine happiness in what might be a little bit of a dark time. It’s meant to help you recover, not create new issues.

To distract yourself in a healthy way, spend time with people you love, read a book or something educational online, take on a fun hobby, etc. Find something that gives you purpose outside of whatever (probably miniscule) thing you failed at.

5. Work on yourself

Ultimately, failure was just an instance where a goal or objective wasn’t achieved as desired or expected. You may not be able to guarantee success, but you can keep working towards it.

Practice doesn’t always make perfect – sometimes you may practice day and night and still fail. But practice sure can help.

Take failure as a way to turn a new page. Use the feelings that accompany failure to motivate yourself for something better. Does this eliminate the chance of failure? No. But it helps minimize it. It can help you decrease the risk of future failures.