How To Be Less Uptight

Take a social situation where everyone or almost everyone around you is having fun and letting loose. Now, would you be the relaxed and friendly member of the crowd or are you sitting/standing there, uptight and stiff? If you fall into the second category then you may want to work on fixing this.

Being uptight can make you appear less friendly and approachable, it can give off the impression that you are unhappy or that you are somewhere against your own will. These aren’t very good impressions to get across if your goal is to have fun, make friends or at the very least give off an overall good vibe.

Ways to be less uptight

Dealing with being uptight is easy. There are things you can do to appear or genuinely become less uptight if this is a problem for you. Here are some things you can do to be less uptight.

1. Practice muscle relaxation

Do this at home or do this in public settings. Muscle relaxation is a terrific strategy to both look less uptight and to actually decrease tension. You can focus on key areas: the face, the shoulders, the chest and the arms. These are the main indicators of stiffness. The stomach is also important although it may not show as obviously. It is still strategic to relax your abdomen for breathing and to help with calmness.

All muscles should be relaxed and it is a smart idea to focus on relaxing the whole body. If this is something you struggle to do, consider a strategy where you start from the feet and go up relaxing one part of the body at a time: progressive muscle relaxation. Stay aware if you start tensing up again and jump right to reversing that if it happens.

2. Practice a relaxed but happy face

Facial muscles still count towards muscle relaxation but they also get their own point here because the face is a major part of your outward appearance. If your face looks uncomfortable then it is safe to assume many/most people will likely think you are uncomfortable.

What should you do? Relax the face muscles, yes, but also practice and implement calm and welcoming facial expressions. You don’t have to keep a wide smile nor do you have to hold a resting sad face. Instead, you can try to maintain a calm, confident and friendly expression. This one is a little hard to describe but there are some general recommendations that can help. Keep your lips somewhat neutral (i.e. not pouting). Keep your cheeks relaxed. Your eyes should look like you are smiling but not squinting and your brows should also be relaxed. If you need help with this consider practicing in front of a mirror and/or with someone you trust who can give you feedback.

3. Remain calm and reduce stress

Relaxing your muscles and face give you a look that is less uptight but let’s also go for making you genuinely calmer. If you are stressed or have some sort of internal emotional burden it would take near expert acting skills to not reveal that. Calmness should flow from the inside out.

Learn to decrease stress (easier said than done but still doable) and find authentic happiness within. Slow yourself down and try some coping strategies if you deal with hardships in life. Consider focusing on your breathing or gently massaging your forehead to alleviate emotional tension.

4. Get enough sleep

If you slept 4 hours, have dark circles under your eyes and are absurdly grumpy then you most likely will not look chill. Sleep is an important factor in how people look, especially how rejuvenated and at ease they appear. Getting adequate, good quality sleep can prove to be a key to appearing less uptight. So make sure you stay on top of a good quality and consistent sleep schedule.

5. Be comfortable in difficult situations

One of the reasons you might be uptight is because of the situation you’re in and not so much because you are generally an uptight person. It is normal for people to be in situations where they feel awkward or tense. The best response in these situations is to have a set of calming techniques you can put to use in the moment. Try to make them subtle. Think of focusing on your breathing, envisioning your happy place or shifting your attention to the feeling of clothing on your skin. Anything subtle that makes you feel less uncomfortable in an otherwise uncomfortable situation can help.