What To Do If You Are Socially Awkward

Being awkward can make even the most basic of social interactions challenging. Awkwardness is mostly judged based on a person’s overall demeanor. Some things may be awkward in some situations but not in others and awkwardness can also be subjective with different people assigning it in different ways.

If you’re an awkward person, there’s no need for you to overthink this or let it get you down. Many people are awkward – this trait is fairly common. Still, if you strive to stop being awkward, that’s fair, because decreasing awkward behaviors can help you feel more comfortable when interacting socially.

Ways to stop being socially awkward

Here are some ways to stop being socially awkward.

1. Have a goal for your conversations

Conversations occurring for a reason tend to be less awkward than conversations which are solely small talk or have a poor foundation. Having a goal for your conversation doesn’t have to mean picking one topic and sticking to it the whole time (that might even get boring). You can have a goal (business, studying, a movie, etc.) and you can switch to something else if the conversation naturally goes elsewhere.

Regardless, you should still have a reason to talk to someone at least initially. Having a topic to concentrate your interaction on can make you less awkward inadvertently because you become so fixated on the conversation that you loosen up. It can also make the conversation less awkward because there is something to talk about.

2. Have conversation topics ready (have a little bit of knowledge on many things)

Try having a set of conversation topics that can help guide your interactions. These don’t have to be set in stone – change them as needed and let the conversation take a natural path.

Having conversation topics in the back of your mind can make a social exchange more natural and relaxed. You can preplan these by rehearsing them or writing them down on paper and reviewing them (but don’t whip out a paper of conversation topics right in front of other people). Try to build your knowledge or experience in many fields so you have discussion points. Focus on positive topics. You can try technology, video games, vacation destinations, fun experiences, etc.

3. Relax/be comfortable

The source of awkwardness is very often tension. Tension can indicate awkwardness to the outside world. This applies to both the body and the mind. For the body, it is important to relax your muscles. Some areas of focus are the face, the shoulders, the arms and the chest. When these are tense you risk looking uncomfortable and/or awkward.

Remain aware of the face you’re making and of any tension around the body. If you feel tense just relax (consider progressive muscle relaxation). Practice relaxed faces and posture in the mirror to help yourself take it easy.

Similarly, relaxing the mind makes the conversation more natural. If you are stressed or feel mentally pressured by your conversation then there’s a good chance you will appear awkward. The mind needs to just be at ease/be calm. Try sighing lightly (not too heavily and not too often) just to relieve some pressure. Repeat confidence phrases to yourself to change your attitude.

4. Don’t overthink

Overthinking can turn even some of the most normal situations into sources of anxiety. It is important not to give too much thought to the way you look, the things you say and/or what other people might think. Think about the way you look in the sense that you need to make an effort to look presentable and relax your body language. Think about the things you say so as to avoid saying anything absurd. But don’t allow yourself to overthink to the point where something that should come naturally to you becomes forced.

5. Practice

Practicing can help you be more natural in conversations. The point of practicing is to help yourself participate in social interactions more effortlessly. Practice with other people so you gain real life social experience. If real life convos are too much for you, try practicing in front of a mirror or with a close family member/friend. In front of a mirror, practice being confident, being cool and collected, appearing natural, your tone and loudness of voice, etc. Eventually, you can try moving on to face-to-face interactions.