Ways To Stop Being Friends With Someone

A friend can be a major part of your life and impact you in many areas of it. Sometimes, however, you may have reasons to end a friendship. In this situation, you ought to deeply consider whether cutting off ties is truly the best course of action or if you’re being unreasonable or simply feeling drained.

Reasons to stop being friends with someone

If you analyze your situation and feel there is no legitimate reason for you to want to end a friendship, consider taking a break rather than cutting things off. It is possible you just feel socially drained by someone even though they are otherwise a great friend. In such a case, some distance might be the best solution.

There are situations, though, where friendships are best if they no longer continue. The reasoning for this depends on how you feel. For example, maybe the friend became a toxic part of your life. Maybe their behaviors are rude or dismissive. Maybe these things are recent or maybe they’ve gone on for a long time and you’re just now noticing.

It is important to understand the other side, here. If your friend recently started acting out, this may be due to pressure in their own life. In this scenario, having a talk with them is an option but consider whether you feel comfortable and safe doing this. It is possible they were or are just becoming incompatible with you – this might be worth ending the friendship over. 

Another reason you may want to move past this friendship is the circumstances that surround you. Maybe the two of you live too far away, maybe there is an emotional reason to want to keep distance or perhaps your lives have changed and you no longer have a strong foundation for your friendship.

How to break off a friendship

The reasoning behind ending a friendship can really be anything. But ultimately if it is a legitimate reason and you are firmly set on ending it, here’s some advice on ways to end a friendship.

1. Remove yourself from the friendship slowly

Depending on the nature of your friendship, you might want to consider ending things gradually rather than abruptly. This may make it less rude – it could just seem that the compatibility was just naturally lost. What you could do here is simply start talking to the person less, start distancing yourself on social media (possibly unfollowing/unfriending) and just be generally unavailable more often. Do this slowly but surely until the friendship ends.

Do keep in mind that if you do this you are risking the other person questioning you about what’s going on. This may get you into a conversation you don’t want to have. So just be sure to have your story straight if you are indeed asked. You may also want to consider if you would want to engage in this conversation or not.

2. End it suddenly if you have to

Again, this depends on your type of friendship. It is possible for you to decide that simply removing this person from your life and ending the friendship is the best way to approach things. This would really be at your discretion; whether you think a slow or abrupt end is best for you and the other person.

Being prepared for the possibility of a difficult conversation also applies here. It’s possible the friend might follow up with you and it is important to get your story straight or make a decision as to whether or not you will respond to them.

3. Become “busy” and boring

Being “busy” is one of the best ways to create a more dull dynamic that is likely to end the friendship. You don’t actually have to be busy, but you can pretend. You should never have time to hang out and always seem to be too pre-occupied with other things to maintain a friendship. This is one way to make your friendship breakup look natural. The other person might also start losing interest in keeping the friendship, as well. The goal is to simply be too boring.

4. Keep conversations short and formal 

No need to discuss deep details about your life in conversation with a friend you no longer want. If asked a question, keep the answer simple and formal. “Yes” and “no” answers when possible, and little to no talking when appropriate. This applies in-person, over text or however you communicate. The conversations should be boring, as well, leaving little possibility for friendly back and forths.

5. Don’t initiate contact

This one should go without saying but it is important to never be the one to start a conversation with someone you’re looking to break ties with. If you end up in a conversation that is not about ending the friendship then you should not be the one who started it.

If you encounter your “friend” in real life then try to act like you don’t see them, if possible. If that is too difficult then leave the conversation starting to them. Do not start the conversation yourself if you don’t need to. This applies to texting/messaging and phoning as well.

6. Talk about it if you can/should

Perhaps you feel that you owe an explanation or perhaps your friend simply won’t let up. In that case, you can consider having a talk about your desire to end the friendship and go your separate ways. Do this only if you feel comfortable and safe. Don’t feel obligated to do this. You can also consider doing it over the phone or through messaging if you prefer.