How To Stop Having A Flirty Personality

Flirting is the starting point for attraction and relationships. It precedes these things because it is an indication by one person to another (directly or indirectly) that they are attracted to them. Sometimes, however, flirting is done unintentionally by one person and this gives the recipient the wrong idea.

This can become more chaotic when someone begins to feel attraction and they pursue a relationship with the flirter despite the other side not having the intentions for such a thing. For this reason, flirtation must be used wisely in a way that assures respect for the feelings of others while also setting boundaries that do not easily give off the wrong idea.

Some people may always end up catching feelings regardless of how cold or rudely they are treated. This article is not a way to repel any form of unwanted attraction, but it is a way to minimize the risk of it popping up.

Ways to stop being too flirty

If you feel you have a flirtatious personality that should be controlled, you can take action. Here are some ways to stop flirtatious behavior.

1. Notice when you’re being flirty

Start the process of decreasing flirtatiousness by being attentive to when you might be coming off as flirty. Ask yourself how you would feel if someone behaved this way with you. If you would feel that someone is interested in you if they did action x then you should not do it either.

Try also paying attention to the reaction(s) of others when you do something. If they start showing signs that they are attracted to or charmed by you then it is time for a behavioral overhaul. Smiling and lowering their head, moving in closer, becoming fidgety – all of these are possible indicators of attraction.

2. Avoid eye contact

Eye contact can sometimes be taken as a sign of attraction. Avoiding eye contact is a good way to counter this but should be done in moderation. Never looking someone in the eye could potentially be seen as a sign that you like them, as well (or that you are simply unconfident). Avoid eye contact by simply limiting the amount of times your eyes meet. Simply turn your face to the side but do not look down. Refrain from lowering your head – simply look away.

3. Keep your distance when necessary

Keeping your distance applies to when you are in the same vicinity and when you are far away from each other. If you are in the same room as someone, maintain a distance of a few feet to avoid physical contact. Being close to someone or getting touchy feely with them can create attraction. Avoid being touched and avoid touching.

If you do not need to be in the same room or same building as the person, keep your distance in this respect as well. Avoid seeing them or being in situations where you might have to interact with them. The less they are around you the more likely attraction will fade.

4. Don’t be too friendly or polite

Friendliness and politeness might seem basic but they can actually very much be taken the wrong way. It is a sign of basic courtesy to be polite, but in extreme cases you may have to step in and limit this in order to minimize the risk of unwanted attraction. You don’t have to be rude unless they seem to not get the hint. You can start by trying to keep things casual. If they don’t seem to understand, you may have to become cold and borderline rude in order to create more emotional distance.

5. Control your body language 

Leaning into someone, putting your ear right next to them, sitting in certain ways or making certain parts of your body more prominent can come off as flirty. For women, for example, playing with your hair can be flirtatious. Watch how the other person reacts to your body language but also consider what might be misconstrued as flirtatious. Try to keep a neutral body language – the same as the type you would have with a friend or family member.

6. State your intentions

If other things fail or if you see a need to early on you can be direct about your lack of interest or find a way to state it indirectly. An example of being direct could be telling someone you are not really interested in them. Or you can take the indirect path and casually mention a significant other in conversation to prevent it from taking a flirtatious turn.

7. Don’t display too much emotion

This goes for happiness, excitement, sadness, anger, etc. For positive emotions (like happiness and excitement), displaying them can be seen as overly friendly and a means to flirt. Sadness and anger can make it seem like you trust the person or you’re being playful. Simply avoid any show of emotion around people you don’t want to appear flirtatious around. Neutrality is a good strategy here.