How To Reframe A Trauma Mentality

What is trauma mentality?

Trauma mentality is a term I like to use to describe the mentality, thoughts and thought process of someone with trauma.

Trauma mentality is essentially how people think when they have trauma. Sometimes, trauma mentality can keep a traumatized person stuck with no way to recovery.

There are common thinking patterns that are found amongst many people who have trauma. Now, it’s time to discuss some ways to reframe this mentality.

By doing this, a traumatized person could help themselves heal and move on.

Ways to reframe your thinking if you are traumatized

If you are a trauma survivor, reframing your mentality can be an important step in the healing process.

Here are some ways to deal with trauma mentality:

1. View yourself as a survivor, not a victim

Many traumatized people view themselves as people who “struggle” with trauma. They may view themselves as “victims” of a traumatic experience. I.e. a feeling that they were victimized by what happened to them.

I’m not saying that someone who dealt with a traumatic situation isn’t a victim. The problem arises when the victim mentality is a major part of the traumatized person’s identity.

Don’t ever view yourself as a victim of trauma or a victim of an event that you experienced. You are a survivor.

You are surviving the impact of having dealt with that situation and you are surviving trauma. This is a more encouraging view.

Trauma can be tough and you’re getting through it successfully. Even if you don’t feel like you’re successfully getting through it, you are. Even on bad days, remind yourself that you need to keep pushing and keep being a survivor.

2. Accept what happened

Getting put in a traumatizing situation probably wasn’t fun. At the same time, it’s what happened. It is what it is.

Don’t let yourself get into the habit of resisting reality. Don’t waste your time pushing back against something that happened and is over now.

Acceptance is part of the path to recovery and reconciliation with what happened. To accept is to simply be okay with the traumatic event having happened to you.

You don’t have to like what happened, simply have neutral feelings towards it. It happened and this is where you are now. Time to start moving on.

You need to consciously allow yourself to accept. Feel the thoughts and emotions in your mind and come to terms with them. It might take a little while but try your best to just accept.

3. Accept that life doesn’t have to be fair

A lot of people have dealt with tough times. You are not the first. If something bad happened to you that may not be fair but life doesn’t have to be.

Perhaps it’s a good thing that life wasn’t fair. Now you are on a challenging but potentially rewarding journey.

Being entitled and thinking you deserve better is probably not going to be much help and it might just end up distorting your thinking.

Don’t inflate your sense of importance or your entitlement. Don’t just accept what happened, also accept that it might not have been fair. Don’t be angry at anyone for the lack of fairness. Be strong, be tough and take it with a good attitude.

Keep your head up!

4. View trauma as an opportunity for growth

Perhaps trauma, in its own weird way, was in fact fair. Trauma might actually be an opportunity to grow and become the best version of yourself.

Tough times are great times to grow as a person. Remember, plants use rain to grow. Trauma can build character or trauma can destroy it. It’s your job to do everything in your power to use this as an opportunity to better yourself.

5. Remind yourself that healing is possible

Traumatized people might fall victim to the mentality that trauma is forever. The reality is healing is possible – many have done it. Mind you healing is almost always a journey.

The healing process can also come with its ups and downs. You may have some good days and some bad days. You may go through many bad days and you may go through many good ones.

Throughout your whole experience, it’s important to remain optimistic and hopeful that good days will come. Healing is not impossible but it may require some effort.

Don’t give up on trying to heal. Keep doing your best to process your memories and emotions. Work towards healing as best you can and one day you could very well find yourself feeling great.