How To Improve Self-Control

Self-control is one of those personality skills that can prove useful across many different areas of life. People who have better self-control can leverage it to help them be more successful in life overall.

What does it mean to have self-control?

Having self-control means being able to manage yourself and your behavior regardless of any emotions you may be feeling.

The main benefits of self-control are being able to regulate impulse and avoiding impulsive behavior. Impulsive behavior can cause trouble and make it harder to achieve beneficial life goals.

Part of self-control is the ability to hold yourself back from acting impulsively so that you can benefit.

A good example of poor self-control having consequences is if someone acts impulsively and gets in trouble with the law.

Self-control is an important skill to have to increase the chances of success in life.

How to have more self control

Self-control is a skill that can be developed with a good approach.

Here are some ways to have better self-control.

1. Count to 5 before acting (or 10)

Okay, sometimes you may have to act quickly. That’s understandable. If you’re driving and something pops up suddenly, counting to 5 is not going to be an option.

But in many situations where people lose their self-control, putting time between an internal reaction and an external action is one of the safest ways to prevent an impulsive response.

As soon as you deal with something that pushes the limits of your self-control, stop and count to 3, 5 or 10. Don’t react either emotionally or behaviorally in this time. Don’t get angry or upset.

Again, do this only if you have time to react.

Even in the middle of a conversation, if someone says something that really gets you or offends you, take time before reacting.

This technique can help you measure your responses so that you avoid doing something that might make you look bad. It also gives you a chance to think of an appropriate reaction that fits the situation.

2. Learn to ignore some things in life

Responses and reactions are not always necessary. In fact, in many situations it’s better to not react and just let things be.

Not everything needs an emotional reaction. Not every life situation requires you take action.

Sometimes, letting go and gaining your peace of mind is the smarter choice. Even if you’re tempted to react, try to let go.

Being able to let go is a sign of self-control. Even if you feel inclined to react, learn to let go and this can help you build your self-control.

3. Use willpower

When stuck in an agitating situation, the desire to react rashly might overwhelm the mind. It can be hard not to behave impulsively in these situations.

What happens in the world around you isn’t always your choice but how you react is.

One thing you can do to control your reaction is use your willpower.

Using your willpower allows you to essentially force yourself to respond the way you should rather than the way you want.

For example, if a co-worker didn’t do their fair share, it might seem like a good idea to get frustrated and risk looking unprofessional. But the reaction you actually display should be a measured one that approaches the situation with class and politeness.

Use your willpower to regulate the emotions that accompany a frustrating situation. But if you struggle with that, at least use your willpower to control your reaction to that situation.

Ask yourself how you would react if you had tremendous levels of self-regulation and behave accordingly.

4. Practice discipline and develop good habits

One form of self-control is the ability to be disciplined and do what’s best for you. Self-control can break not just in frustrating situations but even in the face of something as simple as a sugary snack you just have to eat.

Don’t get me wrong, eating a sugary snack once in a while is not bad, but moderation is key. Perhaps not surprisingly, the ability to do something in moderation is a sign of self-control.

Going to bed early even if you feel like staying up and having fun is self-control. Exercising is self-control. Eliminating unhealthy habits is self-control.

If you lack discipline, you should develop it. Developing discipline can help with self-control because these two are so interconnected.

Developing good habits in your life is a form of discipline and, therefore, a form of self-control. Get into the habit of reading, exercising (if your health allows), learning, knitting, or any other beneficial habit. See how well you stick to this habit.

By being able to develop and stick to a good habit no matter how hard it might feel, you are practicing self-control. The self-control you develop here can be used in other situations to help keep you focused.

5. Do things that require patience

Patience is also an important form of self-control. Imagine how much self-control it takes to get fed up with something and continue to do it.

If you build your ability to remain patient and focused even if you don’t feel like it, you’re using self-control.

The habits I mentioned before, knitting and reading, are also great for patience. Start off by reading 10 pages of a book or 2 articles online, for example. Then maybe raise it up to 20 pages or 4 articles.

Push yourself to keep going even if you feel like you absolutely have to quit. Try your best to work through the urge to give up.

6. Control emotions

Emotions are the primary driver of impulsive behavior. Self-control becomes difficult to maintain in the face of intense emotions.

There are two main approaches to dealing with this. First, you must learn how to control your behavior despite your emotions. You may feel angry or upset by something, but this doesn’t mean your reaction has to reflect this.

It’s not healthy to bottle up anger but at the same time it’s also not healthy to snap or overreact in any way. Instead, take your anger in a smart direction.

Rather than snapping at someone, try to politely express what you feel and approach it calmly. A lot of times this just ends up accomplishing the same thing.

The second key here is trying to control or regulate your emotions. This too can help with self-control.

Regulating your emotions doesn’t mean you have to eliminate them from your mind and not feel anything anymore. Regulate your emotions by understanding them and approaching them rationally.

Think of why you feel what you do and how you could best deal with a situation without causing yourself more trouble. Remind yourself of the importance of having a calm mind – which can help with keeping your mind clear and working optimally.

7. Think of potential consequences

Unfavorable consequences are often the result of acting with poor self-control. These consequences can range from embarrassment or shame to health repercussions, legal troubles and the list goes on.

Think of what could potentially happen if you behave in an impulsive manner with little to no self-control. Your future self is a product of your current and past decisions. Even if you’ve made some poor decisions in the past, don’t make any more.

Remember to maintain control over your behavior and do what’s best for your success. Remind yourself that avoiding negative repercussions through self-control is a way you can have peace of mind and a happy life.