How To Find Meaning Or Purpose In Life

   Many of us spend long periods of time contemplating our purpose in life. Who am I? What should I do? How can I contribute my skills to the world? What do I want to accomplish? Questions like this fill many people’s minds daily. Looking for a meaning in life is (to some degree) a good thing. And why wouldn’t it be? Having purpose will allow us to see exactly how we desire our lives. It allows us to envision an ideal outcome and a path to the same. Having this sense of trajectory allows us to live a more fulfilling life.

   Seeking meaning in life is great, truly beneficial for putting people in the right state of mind. The problem with this is two-fold, however. First, we may feel pressure to find our purpose even when it has not come somewhat naturally. Second, we risk falling victim to discontent in the event we do not have meaning or we are unable to find it. The negative effects of these feelings of dissatisfaction can start to overflow into other parts of our lives.

   Take this example. A student maintains a low GPA or fails in a field of study they were passionate about. His or her parents were proud which increased the pressure to succeed to even greater levels. Now, with failure and a low GPA constantly nagging at this student’s mind, mental health begins to suffer.

   When people have their sights on a purpose but struggle to achieve it, they risk entering a state of sadness, depression or anger. How we perform in life, especially when it relates to the things that mean a lot to us, is of great importance. But this is actually unfavorable. Some of us can start feeling like we aren’t smart enough, athletic enough, or even good enough to succeed at the things we want to succeed at.

   Feelings of insufficiency plague the mind and trigger a whole series of negative emotions. We need to be able to halt this process before it spirals out of control and causes too much distress. So what does one do if they are presented with a desire to fulfill their perceived meaning in the world and at the same time they deal with setbacks which prevent this from happening?

   Good question, me! The best course of action in these situations is to break this down into two different paths. The first one: consider the possibility that what you believe to be your purpose in life is not that. It happens. People believe they belong one place or think they deserve one thing but the reality is their life is set to take a different path.

   I try to avoid saying anything to the effect of “just give up.” However, there are times when reality presents itself harshly. This is difficult to deny. In other words, it would be illogical to try and pursue certain objectives. This is where your rational thinking needs to come in. Ask yourself, “Is this truly worth pursuing?” Is it logical for you to dedicate more of your time to this goal or is it best to just accept that there is something else out there? Reason with yourself to help you decide if what you might be pursing is valuable.

   Now this is where I may contradict myself a little bit. Many of us view setbacks as if they were mountains rather than viewing them as molehills (which they more often are more akin to). This is where the second path comes in. Instead of giving up and dismissing your ambitions as unattainable, you can take a more resilient approach. The truth is setbacks are normal. They happen to many people many times. Not only that, but those same warriors are able to overcome them with stride.

   Basically, what I’m saying here is you should do the same to a certain degree. Accept that setbacks may very well be a natural result of the process. In fact they are very likely to arise. When they do, the key is for you to have the resilience strategies in place to be able to overcome them. Their effect on you should be minimal. Remember, if you reason with yourself and find your purpose attainable and worth pursuing, you need to be able to quash any difficulties.

   You should improvise, overcome and adapt. But only do this when you see value in what you do. If you struggle to assess your purpose and its value with an impartial lens you should consult a trusted friend(s). It is of paramount importance that we are only exerting effort and committing time to something achievable. And sometimes still you may be certain that your purpose is achievable and end up pursuing it, only to later find out it actually is not your purpose. That’s okay too. Either way if you fall victim to this possibility then the best course of action is to just accept that time-wasters are normal in life and move on to something greater.

   Keep your composure and don’t get flustered when things end up taking your time and effort with no favorable outcome. You ought to have resilience when you pursue your purpose and resilience when finding a purpose.

   So we’ve gotten failure out of the way, which is great. But what if you struggle to find an initial purpose to begin with? If life passes you by and you have no idea where to start then try using these tips:

1. Pick something you are best at and try to look for ways to further improve and use that to benefit the world. I.e. if you are good at binge watching shows that is great for leisure time but not really a skill that can be configured in many ways to make it beneficial to the world.

2. If you feel like you aren’t good at anything (probably not true but I will entertain this one), then look for a skill you might enjoy and dedicate time to fine-tuning it.

3. Initially, you may want to try several skill areas to see what is most useful to you. Don’t overextend  your efforts and don’t do this for too long to avoid burnout and ultimate failure, though.

4. Make efforts to assure you can make some sort of financial gain from whatever you look to offer. Being altruistic is admirable but you should also make a living for you and (if applicable) any dependencies that may rely on you. If you want to do good for the world, make sure you do it in your spare time or at least be certain you will have a way to get by if you are dedicated to doing good for others.

   These tips may help but ultimately my suggestion would be to follow them as you see fit and adjust them if you need to do so. It may not be as cut and dry as the list I provided here.

   One more important point is this; don’t stress yourself trying to find your purpose. Some of life’s greatest ideas come naturally when we aren’t looking for them. You may one day find yourself on the path you belong on without having thought once about it. You are not defined but what you do and how well you do it so there’s no need to exert too much energy on anything beyond being a good person overall and finding happiness.