How To Deal With Feeling Vulnerable

Vulnerability occurs when someone is susceptible to being easily impacted by the world around them. In other words, someone may be easily affected (either physically or emotionally) by what occurs in your life. This can be viewed as a form of weakness although not all vulnerable people truly are weak. The two simply do not have to equal each other (although vulnerability can indicate weakness).

The problem with vulnerability is it is viewed with quite a bit of disfavor by people who struggle with it. This is mostly due to the perceived linkage it has with weakness. People who are vulnerable tend to dislike being this way because they feel weak.

Is being vulnerable a bad thing?

There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable. It is actually completely normal for even the strongest people to feel vulnerable sometimes. Having periods where you feel more vulnerable is also normal. We cannot expect ourselves to never be vulnerable. The same goes for weakness; being weak occasionally is completely fine.

How to stop being vulnerable

If you struggle with vulnerability you may want to consider ways in which you can rid yourself of this or at least better deal with it. Here are some ways that can help you be less vulnerable.

1. Do some (not all) things alone

Needing help is okay but avoid requiring someone’s assistance even for the most mundane tasks. Anyone can need others; if you need help with most or many things in life there is nothing wrong with that. However, you must also allow yourself to be as independent as you can be. If you are ever in a situation where you will absolutely need someone’s help you can make an exception.

On the other hand, if you can do something alone but are obstructed by irrational fears, laziness, or overthinking, then there’s a problem. If you are fully capable of making yourself breakfast, for example, but you need someone to do it for you then it’s time to take action.

Vulnerability isn’t just needing help (any human might need help). Vulnerability is mostly a problem when your need for help is unreasonable. Don’t expect yourself to do everything (i.e. don’t try to be a plumber, electrician, mechanic, surgeon, etc. all on your own). Needing others is okay within reason but make an effort to not let it go out of control.

2. Don’t get too emotional

If you struggle with emotional weakness and you’re easily deterred or affected by the external then you are emotional vulnerable. If something as simple as an insult gets under your skin easily, for example, this is emotional vulnerability.

Another example: insecurities. They exist, okay, but you must not allow them to control you emotionally if you deal with them. Feeling emotions is normal but feeling them too often, too extremely or for the smallest things is where they become a problem.

It is important for you to simply learn to never allow anything to get you too worked up or too emotional. Someone doing something that annoys you (making fun of you, disturbing you, etc.)?  Don’t be bothered by it. Did a driver cut you off in traffic? Leave them to their bad driving and carry on with your day. Don’t give any other person or their actions power over your emotional well-being.

3. Have a strong sense of self

A sense of self in this case means being reassured in who you are. It means having a firm understanding of your potential. This will translate to confidence which itself makes people less vulnerable. Be aware of your personality and shape it to become something strong, resilient and all-around just awesome.

4. Develop your skills

Part of becoming more independent and less vulnerable is having the mental and physical capacity to do things. Developing skills doesn’t have to mean becoming knowledgeable in all fields of life. It can be as simple as being able to understand how to do many things. You can learn how to debug your computer, how to become and stay well-organized, how to escape safely in case of an emergency, etc. You don’t have to be a plumber and an electrician at the same time (doing these yourself without licensing might even be unsafe). Don’t expect yourself to be good at everything (that’s just absurd). Simply learn useful and doable skills to help you.

5. Gain life experiences

Life is an excellent school. Being in situations and getting yourself out of them can build confidence and also make you less vulnerable to the trials of life. Nothing extreme here – you don’t need to get yourself into ridiculous situations just to get out of them. Go to a mall, go somewhere with friends, take a vacation or do whatever else that can expose you to new things and/or new people.

6. Don’t be a victim (and learn to get up if you fall)

Being a victim can make you vulnerable or make you appear so. Constantly convincing yourself that you’re being mistreated is itself vulnerability. Get over yourself and any injustices you feel you’ve encountered. Becoming strong doesn’t mean you don’t fall, it means you are able to get up even if you do.

7. Learn to love and appreciate yourself

Feeling good about and appreciating yourself helps shield you from the troubles of the external world that you may be vulnerable to. If you are confident and have self-love then it is hard for put-downs and hatred to get to you. Make the source of your confidence and happiness you and not any other person.

Take time to grow and develop yourself. Develop your ability to care for you. Whether it is mental health, physical health, the way you look or whatever else – dedicate time to appreciating these and looking for ways to improve them. Repeat affirmations to help with this.