How To Deal With A Difficult Co-Worker

For a lot of people, work is where they spend a large portion of their day. If you work at home or in the workplace, work is still work.

And if you work with people, co-workers are still co-workers whether you interact virtually or physically.

Different jobs have different levels of interaction with others. Not everybody has to interact with their co-workers very often but other people might have to interact with them frequently. Others can fall anywhere in between.

Any time someone interacts with another person they may get along with them and they may not. This is a simple fact of life. Not all people are compatible.

However, when it’s work, the dynamic changes a little due to it being a professional setting. It’s also a place where you may have to encounter and interact with people you don’t like.

This isn’t the case for everyone, but the risk is there. If you’re in the workforce, there’s a chance you will encounter someone you feel is difficult to deal with.

It’s possible you misunderstood them and they are actually very nice but they may also truly be difficult.

If you find yourself stuck dealing with a difficult co-worker, it might get pretty stressful.

What to do if you have a difficult co-worker

Here are some ways to deal with a difficult co-worker.

1. Remember that work is about money, not friendships

This is the first piece of advice for a reason. You need to keep this in mind at all times when dealing with a difficult co-worker.

Work doesn’t need to be a place to make friends. You don’t have to be cold and rude with everyone, but you also don’t need to form deep connections.

This isn’t to say you aren’t allowed to make friends at work. If you end up meeting someone you get along with and who you can be friends with, that’s fine. But don’t make that your focus.

Work is a place to make money. Think about it; would you volunteer at your workplace for free?

If you get along with someone or not doesn’t matter. If someone treats you fairly or not also doesn’t matter. Focus on your job, do it right and make some money. Once that’s done, go home and forget about it.

2. Separate work and life

Work is work and life is life. Don’t let how one makes you feel spill over and affect how another makes you feel.

If you had a bad day at work, don’t bring it home with you (even if you work from home). Once the workday is done, it’s time to focus on your life. Spend time with your family, cook a meal, do some light exercise, listen to music, etc.

If you have to deal with a toxic co-worker, don’t allow it to disturb your daily life. How your professional life makes you feel doesn’t have to affect how your personal life feels.

Like the last tip said: focus on your job, do it right and make some money. Once that’s done, go home and forget about it.

3. Talk about it with someone you trust

Try talking to a trusted family member or friend about what you’re going through. They may offer some good advice. Explain the details of the issue to them and see if they have any advice for you.

If you feel it’s safe and appropriate to do so, consider talking to the co-worker directly. Explain to them what is going on and how you feel. Try to come to an agreement to establish a more accepting dynamic between the two of you.

Keep in mind that talking to them directly is something you should give a lot of thought to before doing. First, make sure it is safe. Second, you need to determine how tense the situation is and/or if it is a good idea to talk to someone based on the nature of your disagreement with them.

If need be, you may also want to discuss with a manager or HR. Keep in mind that this is something you should only do when the situation is more on the serious side. But don’t let yourself reach a point where you feel unsafe or excessively stressed.

4. Keep a distance (as best you can)

Try to stay away from a difficult co-worker as much as you’re able to. Keeping a distance can help decrease the amount of time you have to put up with them.

This isn’t always easy, though.

When it comes to professional or work setting, avoiding some people may not always be a possibility. So do keep that in mind.

This is kind of the way it is in a lot of life’s situations. In life, people can be in situations where they have to deal with someone they don’t like. It’s not ideal but it’s the way it is sometimes.

The idea here is to keep your distance as best you can. Minimize interactions with them. If possible, sit far away from them, try to avoid being in the same room as them, etc.

If you find yourself stuck having to interact with them, keep this next tip in mind.

5. Be formal but polite (maybe find common ground)

If avoidance is too difficult or not possible in your circumstances, make sure to keep any conversations between you and the co-worker formal but polite. You don’t have to enjoy your time with them, but try to be smart with how you approach interactions.

You don’t need to be too friendly but you also don’t need to be rude.

Be professional and respectful. Keep conversations primarily focused on work and information.

Who knows, if you focus on work with the person you might end up getting more accomplished than you would’ve with someone you like.

If you feel it’s right in your situation, maybe try finding common ground. Maybe you both have a hobby you enjoy, a sport you both like, etc. This might even change your perspective and have you liking the person.

6. Set boundaries

You have to know what is okay and what is not. It’s important that you assess situations and determine if and how you’d like to convey your boundaries. But you need to have them.

Compromising is fine for things like where to put the coffee machine in the lunch room. It’s not okay, however, to compromise on something that can affect the workplace, your performance, the company or your own well-being.

If you know something can have consequences or could be dangerous, it’s imperative that you stand your ground. Boundaries can help minimize the chances of a little tension between you and the co-worker turning into something larger.

7. Be emotionally calm

In life you could end up dealing with all sorts of people – some of them nice, others not so nice. Whether you encounter a rude co-worker, neighbor, stranger or whoever doesn’t matter. You need to have the presence of mind to remain calm and not be flustered by the actions or words of others.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t keep yourself safe. But your reaction or response should be thought out and intelligent. Don’t be emotionally driven. Avoid getting flustered.

No matter what situation you find yourself in, make an effort to maturely think it through and make calculated decisions.